Earlier today, my friend Roxy inquired  via email about our recent canning escapades. I replied: “The idea of canning your homegrown vegetables is quaint and praiseworthy. The act of canning your vegetables is lamentable.”

And now, I am going to subject you to a post about canning. I just wanted to be up-front with you, because you are my peeps.

Before I go into the details, here are some helpful tips:

• Don’t start the canning process at 7:15 p.m. on a Thursday evening. Attitudes will quickly erode.
• Have large enough pots and pans.

Now that we’ve got that out of the way, please behold some illustrative photography:

(notice the bottle of ibuprofen on the counter….)

Dear me, I believe I am growing irritable just looking at the process.

Hours and hours after we had begun, when we were finally transferring the filled jars to the water bath, A. accidentally dropped and spilled one all over the glass stove top. There were swears involved. And then I sent him to bed. And, in the end, we only had 5 measly quarts to show for our bad attitudes hard work.

But, guess what? The end result was DELIGHTFUL. While it is not as spicy as I thought it would be, it has such a clean, refreshing taste.

The next day, everything seemed a little better, brighter. Maybe it hadn’t been so bad after all! But then, two days later when my garden spewed forth this…

…there may have been some more swears.

On that cheery note, here’s the recipe for those interested! (and pssst! you don’t have to can it! you can just make a batch and eat and eat and eat…)

Canned Chunky Salsa by Mama Linda

• 3 large mixing bowls (or more) tomatoes
• 3 large bell peppers
• 3 or 4 hot peppers
• 3 or 4 other peppers (banana, jalapeno, etc.)
• 8 medium onions
• 5 cloves garlic
• 5 tbsp salt
• 3/4 C vinegar
• 1 tsp oregano
• 1 tsp cumin
• cilantro (optional)
• bay leaves (optional)
• 4 tbsp Accent (optional)

In a blender, blend 1/2 the tomatoes, 1/2 the onions, 1 bell pepper, and all the hot peppers. Blend on high, making sure hot peppers are well blended. Put mixture in a large pot(s). Bring to a boil; lower temperature to a simmer. Cook down until thick, about 2 hours (reduces volume by about 2/3).

While it is cooking/reducing, blanch the rest of the tomatoes and remove skins. Chop the tomatoes and remaining onions and bell pepper. When blended ingredients cook down, add all the chopped vegetables, garlic, salt, vinegar, oregano, sugar, cumin, and optional ingredients. Cook until thick and the veggies are done.

Ladle hot salsa into hot, clean pint canning jars, leaving 1/2 inch headspace. Process in a boiling water canner for 15 minutes. Don’t drop any of the jars onto the glass stove top. And watch your language.

Happy Canning!

… I say, “Holy crap, where is my kitchen table?”

The garden, though it has certainly left the innocent stage of neatly planted rows and looks like a giant leafy monster, is definitely producing. This picture was taken last week. Multiply it by, like, 7, and that’s how many are now piled in bowls on my table, and now you’ll understand why I sort of panic every time I catch a glimpse of the backyard.

A. and I have already canned some salsa. It was…an experience. I will tell you about it in detail maybe next week. I’m not ready to talk about it yet. That might give you an indication of how it went…

Anyway, these pretty jobbers have been staring me in the face all week:

And, if I were more like my mother, I would either: A) chomp into one like an apple, sprinkling salt on it before each bite or B) slice it up and sprinkle it with sugar. In response to both options: nasty. I am not a raw tomato kind of gal. Which is, you know, probably ironic seeing as I have about 4,000 raw tomatoes in my house right now.

What about you? Do you eat them raw? Are you one of those? I can handle a nice fat slice on a sandwich or diced up finely on some bruschetta, but other than that it’s gotta be in sauce format for me to really enjoy it. So…it looks like I am going to can some homemade pasta sauce this weekend. I’m hoping it goes better than the salsa. I’ll let you know.

Or, you could give me suggestions on how to make myself love raw tomatoes. Please. I’m quietly begging.

Happy boiling, skinning, deseeding, dicing, more boiling, and all sorts of other tedious steps,

Sometimes I play this game where I try to get A. to eat vegetables. And sometimes I just succumb to meat and carbs. Stir fry is a magical meal, because it can be many things to many people. It is fast, usually healthy, and, if you know how to handle a wok, fun to prepare.

(A quick aside before we hit the ingredients: When I received my beloved electric wok during my senior year of high school, I prepared a beautiful and delicious chicken stir-fry for my family. One of my younger brothers came up, closely sniffed the tempting food, and said, “Oohh…is this wok?”)

Now – on to the Basics of Stir-Fry, a meal even an untrained boy can handle:

protein (chicken, shrimp, NY strip steak, tofu, etc.)

veggies (pretty much anything! I love snow peas, broccoli, zucchini, carrots, onion, water chestnuts, bamboo shoots, and more…)

sauce (I’ll admit it – I usually start with those bottles of pre-made stir-fry sauces, especially the ones with a kick of heat, and then add a few fresh ingredients. You can also make your own sauce from the basic ingredients of soy sauce, rice wine vinegar, chili sauce, minced garlic, sesame or other dark oil, and brown sugar if you like it slightly sweet….I do!)

oil (sesame oil works great and will help season your wok)

Generally, you heat your oil to popping in the wok or stir-fry pan with minced garlic and add the protein, stirring (no kidding) as it quickly cooks. When the chicken is cooked through or the other proteins are nearly done, remove them from the wok and add the veggies. Cook until they are a bit tender, but let them retain some crunch. I like to marinate my protein in some sauce and garlic for an hour or so before cooking time, but it’s not necessary. You can also add as much or as little sauce at the veggie step as you like. Then you…stir it some more. It’s not rocket science, people.

The meal pictured above made my husband look adoringly into my eyes. Just straight up meat and rice, with some garden green onions for pizazz. But, unfortunately for him, I loves me some veggies.

Mmm…fresh zucchini, yellow squash, and green onions just begging to be stir-fried.

Fortunately for A., I also loves me some steak now and again.

Everyone wins. Except for maybe the cow.

Happy stirring!

Love,

This is a shot of the Amazon Rainforest from our last weekend getaway. Actually, it’s my ridiculous garden. I’ve never grown anything before, so I may have been a bit overzealous. As in, I have ten tomato plants. That kind of overzealous.

Aside from my debilitating fear of spiders (or any insect, really), it’s been a lovely little experiment. I now know that ten tomato plants is…overzealous…and that washing lettuce every other day sucks. A. and I are just two people, and he doesn’t even eat lettuce. Why did I plant an entire row? Hmm…thoughts to ponder as I wash lettuce every five minutes.

So far, the basil and green beans are kicking butt in the “I actually want to eat this stuff” category, with the jalapenos taking a close third.

Many of the seven billion tomatoes are yellowing up, so when it comes to pickin’ time (I can say that because I have a garden now), the darling mother-in-law is going to help me can some salsa and pasta sauce.

Do any of you have gardens? The only real problem (aside from laziness, and that’s not the garden’s fault) I’ve run into is these suckers:

We bought a trap for the buzzing beauties, and I’m sad to say it is veritably teeming. Nasty. I am also sad to say that they are now eating my sweet little purpley tree right next to the trap. Poor planning on our part? Just ask the tree. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go wash some lettuce.

If anyone has any great tips for newbie gardeners, leave a comment!

Happy harvesting,