Step 1. Plan beautiful, luscious flower beds. Balance colors and peak blooms so it looks lovely all season. Save internet and magazine photos, consult gardening co-workers.

Step 2. Invest a fair chunk of money in blooms. Spend an entire Saturday planting. Avoid insects at all costs, make best effort to prevent any dirt from staining hands {an outdoor girl I am NOT}. Book manicure appointment to fix the damage.

Step 3. Water and weed religiously.

Step 4. Get tired of watering and weeding religiously {generally by the end of June}.

Step 5. Cease all watering and weeding. Let nature take its course.

Need further proof of my decidely NOT green thumb? Here is a photo of one of my window boxes last year, I’ll date it between steps 4 and 5:

However, we are currently in the midst of step 1 and this year, THIS YEAR, I am determined to succeed. I know I am capable of nurturing. So, without further ado, here are some blooms I am determined to coax into a state worthy of Better Homes and Gardens.

allium {I love the color AND the fun shape}

phlox {I actually have some of this already, but for some reason it refused to bloom last year…..}

peony {I also have several of these, but I transplanted them and, yes, they refuse to bloom.}

hydrangea {I would love a row of these in front of our house…..perfection}

J is a master gardener, perhaps she will come to my aid…..

How about you? Do you prefer to plant flowers or vegetables {or both, you over-achievers}? Green-thumbs, help a girl out! What is the secret?!?

Gratefully,

 {an admitted plant-murderer}

I have taken to wandering around the gardening aisles of Target and Lowe’s. I can’t wait for everything to be green again, and to dig into the mess that is currently my garden (notice the mean bunny that sits there and torments Murray):

I spied the sweetest gardening line at Target last week – the new Liberty of London collection that can be seen in splashy patterns and funky colors throughout the store.

If I didn’t already have tools from last year, I would be all over this. I think a tool set and some sweet gloves would be a perfect gift for anyone wanting to plant flowers or start a garden this year! I may have to get that adorable watering can at the top, though.

The rest of the Liberty line is pretty sweet too – especially the plates and such:

You can scope out the Liberty of London items here, but unfortunately the online store is sold out of the gardening goods. So, look at your local store if you are interested!

Have a beautiful weekend,

… I say, “Holy crap, where is my kitchen table?”

The garden, though it has certainly left the innocent stage of neatly planted rows and looks like a giant leafy monster, is definitely producing. This picture was taken last week. Multiply it by, like, 7, and that’s how many are now piled in bowls on my table, and now you’ll understand why I sort of panic every time I catch a glimpse of the backyard.

A. and I have already canned some salsa. It was…an experience. I will tell you about it in detail maybe next week. I’m not ready to talk about it yet. That might give you an indication of how it went…

Anyway, these pretty jobbers have been staring me in the face all week:

And, if I were more like my mother, I would either: A) chomp into one like an apple, sprinkling salt on it before each bite or B) slice it up and sprinkle it with sugar. In response to both options: nasty. I am not a raw tomato kind of gal. Which is, you know, probably ironic seeing as I have about 4,000 raw tomatoes in my house right now.

What about you? Do you eat them raw? Are you one of those? I can handle a nice fat slice on a sandwich or diced up finely on some bruschetta, but other than that it’s gotta be in sauce format for me to really enjoy it. So…it looks like I am going to can some homemade pasta sauce this weekend. I’m hoping it goes better than the salsa. I’ll let you know.

Or, you could give me suggestions on how to make myself love raw tomatoes. Please. I’m quietly begging.

Happy boiling, skinning, deseeding, dicing, more boiling, and all sorts of other tedious steps,

This is a shot of the Amazon Rainforest from our last weekend getaway. Actually, it’s my ridiculous garden. I’ve never grown anything before, so I may have been a bit overzealous. As in, I have ten tomato plants. That kind of overzealous.

Aside from my debilitating fear of spiders (or any insect, really), it’s been a lovely little experiment. I now know that ten tomato plants is…overzealous…and that washing lettuce every other day sucks. A. and I are just two people, and he doesn’t even eat lettuce. Why did I plant an entire row? Hmm…thoughts to ponder as I wash lettuce every five minutes.

So far, the basil and green beans are kicking butt in the “I actually want to eat this stuff” category, with the jalapenos taking a close third.

Many of the seven billion tomatoes are yellowing up, so when it comes to pickin’ time (I can say that because I have a garden now), the darling mother-in-law is going to help me can some salsa and pasta sauce.

Do any of you have gardens? The only real problem (aside from laziness, and that’s not the garden’s fault) I’ve run into is these suckers:

We bought a trap for the buzzing beauties, and I’m sad to say it is veritably teeming. Nasty. I am also sad to say that they are now eating my sweet little purpley tree right next to the trap. Poor planning on our part? Just ask the tree. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go wash some lettuce.

If anyone has any great tips for newbie gardeners, leave a comment!

Happy harvesting,